Over the past month and a half, as I’ve moved into my own office and started to see clients in my brand new solo practice, it occurred to me that deciding to pursue this path was a risk not dissimilar to the one clients take when they decide to seek therapy! How so? Let me list a number of things these decisions might have in common:
- I wanted my (work) life to be different, and believed that it could be better.
- I felt uncertain (still do!) about starting a solo practice, because I’m not a fortune teller and I don’t know all the nitty gritty details up front. I still have to figure some things out as I go.
- I knew that the decision to make such a big change in my career was mine, and ultimately mine alone. That’s both empowering and a lot of responsibility if something were to go wrong!
Remembering what a client said about resisting change because they feared “not knowing what’s on the other side”–which is totally legit!– and based on my experience of recently starting my own business, I’ve come up with some suggestions that may help the transition feel more like easing into change, rather than taking a blind leap of faith.
Change doesn’t have to be radical or abrupt, it need not shock the system in order to be meaningful.
I built toward starting a solo practice very, very gradually. Over the course of several months, I became paneled with insurance companies. I filed my Articles of Organization for an LLC. I researched how to register a domain name and create a website. All of these incremental steps helped me feel prepared to take the plunge when the timing was right to actually go out and rent an office space.
When a task feels herculean, it helps to break it into manageable, bite-sized pieces–even if only conceptually. Remember, the decision to change is the first step on the path. Searching for a therapist and contacting different offices is a great first start to your own journey toward healing. Progress isn’t always linear or consistent, but the general trend is up/forward. Some therapy sessions may feel emotionally challenging, but that’s because we don’t “get over” stuff, we move through it and come out the other end.
You don’t have to go it alone.
All signs from the universe were pointing toward me starting a solo practice, and I think I was the last one to realize it. I decided to start listening to colleagues and people close to me, who expressed full confidence in my ability to figure this thing out, even before I felt 100% certain that I was making the right decision.
If you are seeking to create healthy changes in your life, it can help to surround yourself with supportive people. Diversify your network beyond the usual friends and family, especially since they can sometimes be too close to provide honest or impartial feedback. Look into online forums, in-person meet ups, and others who are walking a similar path. A therapist can serve as a solid foundation to your larger support network because, as psychotherapist and author Lori Gottlieb puts it, “Wise compassion is what therapists practice when we hold up the mirror and say, ‘Hey, take a look at your reflection for a second.‘ We show how much we care by being willing to deliver a compassionate truth bomb.”
Settle into the unknown, rather than trying to fight it or escape from it.
I can lose a lot of sleep worrying about and trying to prepare for the “what if’s” in life…but that’s a lot of work for any number of things that may never happen! In order to ease my worries over whether I’d be successful at running my own business, I built in some financial security by continuing to do contractual work while I get things off the ground. I also stay tethered to my confidence in my skills and abilities as a clinical social worker. Even if I hit some bumps in the road, I have the ability to adjust course, and I trust that I will come out okay.
Grounding exercises can help us persevere through challenges and growing pains. One of my favorite quotes from Pema Chodron reads: “You are the sky. Everything else — it’s just the weather.” Basically she’s saying that the nature of life is that it’s constantly changing, and even the rough patches must come to an end at some point. Once you accept the variable nature of “the weather” and realize that you are in fact the sky, the thing that remains as a constant backdrop, you may notice feeling more at peace with letting the change process unfold naturally.
Keep an open mind and an open heart – allow for a wide range of possible experiences.
Don’t assume the change process will necessarily be super painful or cause suffering the whole way through. Case in point: I was dreading finding an attorney to review my practice forms. I signed a contract and submitted drafts of everything, and waited for the phone call in which I’d receive feedback and suggestions. As I took notes, I found myself surprisingly interested in the minutiae of how and why things should be worded a certain way. I also felt infinitely more confident when it came time to review the practice forms with my first solo practice client!
If you’re paying close enough attention and taking things simply as they come, you may be surprised to find that engaging in therapy and starting your journey to wellness needn’t always as difficult as you thought. You may even find it relieving, humorous, fascinating, or any number of other positive things!
Remember – if you’re considering therapy and looking into therapist options, that means you’ve overcome that first hurdle of deciding to seek professional help. Whether you realized it or not, you’re already on the path toward healthy change.